It’s an odd proposition, a Dell phone… If you would have come to me ten years ago and said Apple was making a phone, I’d probably have imagined something that looked like a white Computer Space cabinet.
Yet, ever since rumors of a Dell phone started circulating early last year, I mentally pictured pretty much exactly what it turned out looking like: A big old black box with the god-awful Dell “crooked-E circle” emblazoned hugely on the back.
But because I had already expected it to look a certain way, I became skeptical that it was created after the fact to “look like something Dell would make,” you know? Here’s what I’m talking about:
They look like they came out of the same Dell vagina.
I slapped together a picture from Boy Genius Report today and a picture of the Dell XPS Studio 13. Tell me that doesn’t look eerily similar. If someone faked this, it’s a pretty lousy job because the roots are showing. But, as Greg Graffin famously said, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction…because as far as everyone’s saying, this monster is real.
It’s supposedly being released on China Mobile under the code name “Benzine” (not to be confused with Benzene, which is probably a major component in it, as a plastic hunk of shit) and will supposedly run the Android-based “OMS” platform. It’ll be one of those “oPhones” you may have heard about.
Here are the specs that everybody’s reporting:
It’s ugly…and the OMS UI is ridiculous. I’d go so far as to call it “bofungly,” a term my comic book geek friend once scribbled in one of my drawing books when we were coming up with ideas for super heroes.
China Mobile hired Wavy Gravy to do the UI.
It’s nothing short of a miracle the icons aren’t dancing bears. Thank God Android is skinnable…I assume the ability will be retained in OMS. It is “Open” after all (but it is China, so yeah.)
Despite all of this, why do I still want it?
It’s like when I see people “working” on their laptops at Barnes and Noble or Starbucks, they’re either on a Mac or on a Dell. And you know what I think when I see those people? Mac = Pretentious, Dell = Dork. I don’t think of the computing power or monetary value of their computer. It could be the $999 macbook and a $3,000 XPS and I’d still feel the same way.
Dell says “dork” and I closely identify with that.
Does that make me weird?
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